Now is the time to thaw out and re-engage with LIFE!
Anxiety is a normal and functional response to living, it is what keeps us alert and even motivated, but it can take our mind captive when it becomes the problem. It is as through your mind is frozen with fear, dread and worry and you can’t melt it away. The impact is chronic, it is as if you are frozen in a state of being, and as if paralyzed you are unable to do much, except live in conscious awareness with the neurotic kremlins of your mind.
Anxiety manifest itself in various forms such as: social anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, health anxiety, panic attacks and general anxiety to name a few.
It may be that you once loved to socialize with friends and family and now you are locked within the confines of the walls of your home, you have stopped enjoying your relationships. Your creatively is stifled because of lack of external stimulation.
Suffering from anxiety can chronically impact your productivity at work, in that you may be procrastinating, you may find yourself not going after certain projects for fear of failure, or worry that you would be able to cope.
You may also suffer from physical symptoms, and these may include, lack of concentration, chest pains, skin problems, sleep disturbance, increased heart rate, gastro-intestinal problems (stomach), tiredness, and headaches.
When these problems are severe, it is a challenge to get back to normal, and can be quiet frustrating for the sufferer. Thawing out sometimes requires help to get started with issues such as changing your automatic negative thoughts, and unravelling any mis-interpretation of bodily sensations. Use distractions such as a hobby to reduce your anxiety, be determined when excuses furry their way into your mind, the persistence will pay off. Another way you cope is to breathe deeply and slowly, this action will help you to calm down.
You can take change of your problem if you learn how to identify the triggers, and the best practice to help reduce your symptoms mentally and physically, in terms of understanding what foods to avoid or reduce its intake. Tame your mind and give yourself compassion to enjoy the life you were meant to live in the now. Don’t lose another minute worrying call or write us today and change your life.
We are running a workshop (£25.00) to get you starting the processing of melting the ice that has frozen you. Visit our website at www.enamouruk.com for details. and to register.
I was looking out of my window one afternoon during the school run. As I observed parents taking their little ones from school, I saw two fathers on separate occasions running with their daughters. Their faces lit up with glee, indicating they were enjoying the experience of play. Play is such an important part of a child’s life and is in fact the language that they understand and communicate with the world. As parents we often forget the joy and healing that this activity can bring for ourselves and our children.
I train counsellors about the importance of play in the life of a child and as I watched these children playing with their fathers, I was inspired to remind parents about this important part of childhood development. So why is play so important for you and your child?
Playing is a how children naturally express themselves and interacts with their peers and the adults in their lives. Playing gives way for the release of pent up tension and anxiety that may be present. As parents we go on holiday when we feel stressed; so just think what it could be like if you and your child engaged in more play; an activity that will release your stress at a fraction of the cost.
Stress, tension and anxiety are major contributors of fractured relationships between children and their parents. . These fractured relationships then spill over into the wider community at school and at work. The family is always about interpersonal relationships and often when children have been referred for counselling, it is invariably about the interpersonal relationships, whether it is parent/child or child/siblings. The benefit of playing together could foster more wholesome and meaningful relationships.
Through play, children tell their stories… as a parent take time to really listen to the message in the story. This narrative could carry important messages for you. Through their play you could learn to better understand their internal world and offer an empathic response. Through play you can build a great relationship, important for a secure base as well as a healthy parent/child attachment resulting in them feeling a sense of security and safety; so reduce your focus on the problems… in some cases the problems that you are concerned about will be resolved using this indirect approach.
Sometimes as parents we forget how to play, or as a child you may have been denied this important stage of your development due to some adverse family issues or other factors. Learning how to play with your child from an early stage is a very effective way to reduce future problems in family life and even arrest the cycle of what may be unhealthy relationship pattern passing down to the next generation. Garry Landreth, a child therapist endorses this concerning how important this activity is for children and parents; he believes that parents can become skilled to be therapeutic agents in the lives of their children. Filial Play is just the way to get started; why not contact us to find out how you can enhance your family life through play.
Angela Sterling-Noel (MBACP, PG Cert.)
Your birthright is who you were born to be, it is your destiny. You were created with a destiny for greatness, you are unique and you are the only one on this earth that can fulfil what you are destined to do.
Is it possible that you exchanged your birthright for a lethal pill that has caused you to fall asleep? This lethal pill is full of lies about who you really are; and it is a pill that has paralyzed you out of action. Who told you that you can’t? Or who told you that you are not good enough? These lies are called limiting beliefs that stand in your pathway to greatness. I would like to challenge you to question these beliefs. Ask yourself about the consequences of holding onto these beliefs. Ask what will it cost my relationships if I do not let go of this belief? What will it cost me financially if I do not let go of this belief? How logical is this belief? How has this belief dis-empowered me? Can I model the person who I learnt this belief from? As you challenge and dispute these beliefs – replace them with positive beliefs and reclaim the birthright you were born with. Here are some ways to harness positive beliefs:-
Believe in yourself and that you have the power to control your own life, believe that you have the inner strength and resources deep down inside and let your faith show you the way forward. Use what you have in your hand (i.e. knowledge, skills and talent).
Affirm yourself- positive affirmations are empowering, they help you to feel good about yourself and help you to change the negative chemical imbalances of your brain. Change your thoughts from ‘I am not good enough’ to ‘I am good enough.’ Say to yourself I am good at … (name that thing you know you are good at).
Change your Emotional State by answering power questions. Answering these types of questions can be very influential in empowering you into positive action that lead to positive results and reinforces a powerful positive belief about yourself. Here are three power questions to get you started:
- What am I enjoying most in my life right now? What about that do I enjoy? How does that make me feel?
- What am I committed to in my life right now? What about that makes me committed? How does that make me feel?
- What am I happy about in my life now? What about that makes me happy? How does that make me feel?
Change your vocabulary – it is the key to success and a powerful agent in the change process. Our beliefs are mostly influenced by the words we speak, as well as what we hear, and see. Mark Twain said:-
“A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of these intensely right words… the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.”
Change the things you read to positively influence your life. Listen to words that transcend a beautiful melody to the soul. This practice can only result in you speaking out positive and powerful words that you have been feeding your mind with. This will be your awakening to reclaiming the path towards your birthright. Here are some words to begin your journey with…
I am anxious to I am feeling concerned
I am irritated to I am stimulated
I am a failure to I am learning and growing
I am nervous to I am energized
See how different the use of positive vocabulary will impact your life and transform your destiny, leading you to living the life that you have dreamt of. Reclaim your birthright by challenging your beliefs, answer power questions and use positive vocabulary. It is time to wake up from your dreams and begin to live them out in your life.
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Do you feel aches and pains for no apparent reason? Does your head feel like you are in a permanent fog, and you can’t see ‘the wood for the trees? Do you feel irritable with everyone around you? You just feel tired and listless all the time. Carol a 46 year old woman and a mother of two children in their teen years, was feeling all of these things and she complained about not getting her work and chores done at home or at work, she noticed that she was feeling more and more tired and her creativity was non-existent due to an inability to concentrate. She was suffering from insomnia which led to feelings of anxiety and depression. If you like carol, are experiencing any of these symptoms, then maybe you are suffering from stress.
“I am feeling so stressed out”, is a common expression we hear everyone saying in this global economic climate. People all over the world are crying out how stressed they are feeling, due to the terrain of negative effects from financial responsibilities and burdens.
Stress is something that we will all experience throughout our lifespan from infancy to our retirement years. Examples of these:- During the infant years total dependency for their basic needs, a young child learning to dress themselves or overcoming developmental fears. As a child progresses, a child between 6-12 years old who may have learning difficulties, or is experiencing peer pressures for example making friends and maintaining them or is at risk of sexual abuse. At the onset of the adolescent years, stress continues to impact the in various forms – they have issues with gaining their independence and carving out their own identity as well as peer pressure where some even feel depressed or suicidal. As we go through the stage of embarking on becoming adults, other stressors are inevitable during this major transitional time. Some of these stressor could be securing a job, or making the decision to go on to university, relationship problems, getting married or not, professional advancement in your chosen career. As we move towards middle adulthood between 40 – 65 years old then other challenges begin to manifest, such as problems with adolescent children, health problems, unemployment and having to take responsibility for the care of elderly parents.
So how can Carol cope with her level of stress? What can you do to cope with your stress? Well here are a seven nuggets to chew on and hopefully you will benefit from the relief of this human malady we call stress.
Get as much sleep as you can, get 7-8 hours of sleep every night. There are many benefits of sleep, here are some of them:- it enhances your memory and alertness, it produces growth hormones and balances the hormones, repairs damaged skin, reduces inflammation, help to control your appetite resulting in weight loss.
Water – Stress leads to dehydration, increases fatigue, headaches, nausea and your heart rate (e.g.: tachycardia). Drinking water helps with concentration, regulates body temperature and improves your immune system. Hydrotherapy is calming remedy for stress – take a warm bath it aids in muscle relaxation and reduces tension.
Regular exercise is essential to combat stress it releases endorphins which help to reduce stress levels and make you feel happy. Reduces tension, anxiety and depression, decreases feelings of chronic fatigue and tiredness. It will increase blood circulation to the brain and hence you will benefit from mental alertness.
Take time out to relax this could be a massage or just having an afternoon siesta, you will reduce muscle tension. Take time to take a breath deeply, it is good custom to practice deep breathing by completing a session of at least 20 breaths; this will bath the body’s cells with a supply of oxygen. You may repeat to yourself, “ I am calm and relaxed”. Saying words will help to deep this state of relaxation.
A healthy diet is very important in combating the effects of stress. Eat foods high in antioxidants to increase a healthy immune system. Raw foods are rich in this source. Food rich in vitamin B help maintain balance within the nervous system. Reduce your intake of caffeine, salt, sugar and spices.
Believe in yourself, think of yourself in positive ways daily, start by reading good books that encourage and inspire you, this will help to reduce the negative ‘chatter box’ and the volume will be lowered, and before you know it that negative tape recorder will be replace with new positive thought that breathe life into you.
Inspiration: For some they draw strength from prayer, meditation, family time, recreation, a pet, connecting with nature. Find something that feeds you spiritually and gives you a sense of inner peace, courage and a zest for living your life to the full.
Author: Angela Sterling-Noel, (MBACP, MACC)
Trainer, Counsellor & Psychotherapist, Clinical Supervisor, NLP Practitioner, Life Coach www.enamouruk.com